[00:00:00] This is an OSV Podcast network production. To learn more, visit osv podcasts.com.

This is like a mother with Katie McGrady. The podcast that brings you honest conversations about motherhood, the ins, the outs, the ups, the downs, the realities, the joys, the struggles, the pains, the moments where we think I can't do this, and the moments where we rejoice that we are doing it and everything in between.

I'm your host Katie McGrady. We are so happy you're here.

As the news reports began to come out. That a horrific thousand year flood event was unfolding in Texas, that the Guadalupe River had risen at an astronomical rate in just about 45 minutes to an hour. That people who [00:01:00] had come to the Texas Hill Country for the July 4th holiday we're in cabins and cottages and campers, and were startled and surprised by the rapid.

Rising waters. As the stories began to come out, that little girls at Camp Mystic, that families on holiday and that countless communities would lose loved ones in the coming days and hours as information was drip, drip, drip, arriving to people I had. Kind of a, a trauma response. See, I, I have a, um, a pretty substantial fear of water natural disasters.

Don't worry, I'm working through some of it in therapy. When you evacuate from a hurricane, nine months pregnant, come home with the child born during [00:02:00] your evacuation and then have to evacuate again a week later. Your mind tends to go to some pretty dark places when it comes to excessive rain. Just a few months after Claire was born, we had a pretty catastrophic freeze, and then just a few months after that, our own significant flood event here in Lake Charles.

Fortunately, no lives were lost, but many homes, and so as the news reports began to come out, I kind of shut down. We were traveling, visiting my husband's family. I didn't really have access to live news on a television. It's really easy to avoid certain things on social media if you just don't click on them when you see them the first time.

But one thing broke through as I was kind of avoiding looking at the tragedy, and I wanna be clear, I avoided looking at it for a few days because of my own fear and concern about weather [00:03:00] related events, but also because. Like many of you, I'm sure, it was just really hard to hear stories of especially children dying in this flood, children who'd gone to summer camp.

And then to see the rabid conspiracy theories floating around about why or how something like this happened and rather than just jump in to help people, were trying to explain away the tragedy by way of politics or human error. But as I was avoiding, but also really couldn't avoid a lot of it. Like I said, one thing broke through and it was my friend and colleague, Catherine Whitaker, the consummate Texas gal fundraising, deciding to use her platform, her Instagram account, to use her network, her email newsletter list, to reach out to folks that she knows in Catholic media and to say, let's do something tangible.

Can you give 10? 20, 30, 50, a hundred dollars [00:04:00] to buy a gift card. A gift card to a Walmart or to an academy, or to a Sam's Club, or to an HEBA gift card that can replace lost items, that can help buy supplies, that can make a family who's going through an unspeakable tragedy feel a little less alone in the coming days and weeks I gave, as I'm sure many of you have.

34,000 plus dollars raised by the end of the fundraiser via mostly small dollar amounts in the generosity of folks in a social world who happened to scroll and click and see somebody's doing something and I can try to help. I think there's a lot going on psychologically when we do something like that.

Choose to give to the fundraiser we see unfolding before our eyes. I think there's also a lot going on when we do like I did, and we just kind of mentally [00:05:00] shut down for a half a minute because we just can't handle something else that's hard and heavy and we don't wanna confront it and we just kind of want to ignore it.

I think all of that's worth talking about. And so I texted my friend Catherine, and I said, Hey, you know, most of the time these like a mother episodes are evergreen, but we wanted to do one that was very timely in the face of this tragedy. And talk to Catherine A. Little bit about her motivation for this fundraiser.

Also to discuss what it looks like to show up for people, what it looks like to respond to God's call upon your life. To be able to do something in a here and now moment, that might be really hard. This episode was one of the best I think we've recorded because it was raw, it was real, it was honest. It was timely.

I'd be really, really touched if you'd share this episode with your friends and your family, because I think in a lot of ways this conversation can remind people that [00:06:00] we're not alone in the face of hardship, that we're not alone in the face of tragedy, and that all of us are called to respond in distinct and unique ways to those tragedies, in the ways that the Lord is asking each one of us.

So I hope you enjoy this somewhat heavy, but very necessary conversation with my friend Catherine Whitaker about how we respond and help in the face of hardship.

Yeah, it, I saw that you were fundraising and I was like, oh, another Whitaker is opening up the Venmo. Um, as we both know Carlos Whitaker with With two T's. Two T's, yeah. Two T's has fundraised. A lot like he's been on the Today Show because of this has opened up his Instagram to use it as a platform to fundraise for everything from the guy who played piano to like help with his medical bills, to people at Waffle House.

Like always finding [00:07:00] he hasn't done one in a while. Yeah, I think because like you don't wanna tap the well to frequently, so I was really excited when I saw. You were opening up the coffers, but tell us first of all, why, like, what happened? We all know what happened in terms of this horrific flood, um, but what happened in your mind and in your heart as a mom of six, as you're watching all of this unfold in your beloved state of Texas?

Kathryn Whitaker: Well, it was completely accidental. So Texas four H was doing this. Drive for gift cards. But quite frankly, Katie, when it all happened, um, we had some great friends who were there and personally affected, but I just kept thinking, I wanna do something. And it, like, I couldn't find the thing, you know, and it was a text message from my aunt, who was my dad's sister, and she said, I know that you'll find the right thing to give back because that's what you do.

And that was sort of tucked in the back of my mind. And then when this thing with four H came up. [00:08:00] I in a, in a just complete activator mode, not thinking through things, I was like, oh, I'll put it in my stories. And initially, Katie, I was like, oh, well I should just have people mail me gift cards. And then I thought, oh, mail fraud, that's probably a bad idea.

I'll just have 'em, I'll just have 'em Venmo me. And I thought I'll get like 3000, 3000, 4,000 was like. The most. That was the stretch goal. That was the stretch goal. So there was not a lot of like forethought into I'm gonna do this thing. And I find that in many things in my life when I think it through too much, it's too much.

Like if you just sort of, and I just kind of felt the Holy Spirit sink. Let, let's do this. And I was like, okay. And I went to bed, you know, with like a thousand dollars. I think I posted it at like six o'clock in my stories. Like I hadn't even made it a post on Instagram. And I just, Katie, I think I kept going back to the text message from my aunt, but also for those that don't know, our fifth baby was born premature and [00:09:00] we spent 44 days in the neonatal intensive care unit.

So many hours spent going back and forth to the hospital through that stay and so many others and so many people that we never knew helped us. And I remember thinking someday. I'm going to pay this forward and, and I will spend a lifetime doing it. It will never, ever be enough. And because of that, like I was a camp counselor.

I was a camp kid. My kids go to camp this and this one is in our backyard literally. And I just couldn't do nothing. And this was the thing. And then God was like, I see you hold my beer. Mm-hmm. Let's make this big. But I was not at all expecting the response that I got at all. It was, yeah. Overwhelming.

Yeah. It's always fascinating to me to watch the collective action that occurs in the face of tragedy. 'cause there's two types of collection collective action that that happened. There's the collective outrage. Yes. 

Kathryn Whitaker: Where 

and, and this was why I kind of had to turn the news off and [00:10:00] silence. Some parts of social media for a hot minute because it was this, oh, the weather stations were gutted in some of these political maneuvers, and so there weren't people making forecasts, and that was proven to be false.

Like, Nope, the weather station was actually overstaffed that night. Oh, the sirens didn't go off. You're correct. The sirens didn't go off, but then they did, like, there was all these attempted conspiracy theories to try to explain away tragedy, and I just wanted to scream at the world. I was texting my CNN producers to beg them to please change a storyline that like in the face of tragedy, we can't explain it away.

There is no conceivable explanation. We can respond with charity and that's the second collective action. And in fact, and I'm not taking credit for this, but CNN did change the narrative and sent Pamela Brown, who's a Camp Mystic alum. Yes, she 

Kathryn Whitaker: did an down there. She did an amazing job 

to just go tell the story of the place rather than try to explain what could have potentially gone.

And like those, those postmortems will [00:11:00] come in terms of the logistical components of a flood. But I mean, the face of a hurricane, the last thing I needed somebody to tell me was, oh, if it had just ticked 30 degrees that way, you'd be fine. Like, I just need somebody to hand me a hot meal. And so you saw people are trying to respond X, Y, and z.

I wanna respond A, B, C. And people actually respond to that and they're like, oh yeah, I'm, I'm willing to contribute. I wanna get to the psychol psychology of that. Like, why do you think people are like, oh yeah, that's an easy way for me to contribute and are so willing to do it to where you raise $30,000.

Like what do you think is going, going on? 30, 34. 34. $34,000. And probably mostly from like, I, your audience is similar to mine. Moms. Mm-hmm. Women like people who are in the midst of their day are scrolling and they're like, oh yeah, I can send 50 bucks. I can give up my, my Starbucks budget for this week.

Like, it was a lot of small dollar donations. Yeah. Why do you think people click that to give? 

Kathryn Whitaker: Well, I think part of, I think two things. I am like a super fan of Texas, [00:12:00] so this felt, this felt You're the country of Texas. Yes. This felt very personal. Like I wasn't. Not that I couldn't have raised money for something else, but this one I think maybe people trusted.

The fact that we knew this area, we knew what could be helpful. So I think there was that component, but also the fact that when people were giving money, not that giving money to other charities is bad, but I think people wanted to give to something that they knew was gonna have an immediate impact. And in this case, we were giving it.

So I know the agents, the four H agents, so they're sort of like the, uh. The FFA Ag teachers, they know the community really well and I knew them and I knew that I was gonna be physically handing them the cards and then they were gonna be physically handing them to people in the community that they knew needed help.

So it wasn't going into some, you know, safe somewhere and they were gonna distribute them some way. So it was like direct impact. And so I think those two things were appealing to people. And I'm just hypothesizing here, but I think, no, I think, I think we have a desired. When we give, we wanna know like, how is that [00:13:00] helping someone today?

And this was a really tangible way. And yes, physical donations of like doper and food and all those things are important. This was just another, I think, component that people could use long after the floods happened, whether it was a week, two weeks, a month, whatever. And so it just felt tangible and easy.

They knew that I was the one delivering them to the people in Kerrville, um, so that they could distribute them. And that just, I think, resonated with way more people than I ever expected. 

Yeah. When hurricanes Laura and Delta hit. There, you know, a ton of people will give quickly. Mm-hmm. Um, and it's like the six months from now when the other roof bill comes or the next, just like, whatever it might be like, you're like, oh my gosh, like I've been shelling out money nonstop.

And there was a, an afternoon, so Rose started pre-K three. Uh, timelines are funny in my head. I think it was like November [00:14:00] we started and then we had to take a week off because the building was deemed unsafe and then they put them in like another classroom and, and then eventually we got, it was when we were in the temporary building, so I think it was like February of 21, and I was three weeks away, two weeks away from starting the Sirius XM show.

So I was just like underwater in a lot of different elements of my life. Rose comes home and, and, and like good things. Yeah. But just like there was just a lot going on. And Rose gets home from school one after, like I pick her up and we're like looking through her backpack when she gets home and it's pre-K three, so there's like nothing really in the backpack, but we just need to double check.

And there was a Walmart gift card in there and it was for $25. And I'm like, this is, where did this come from? And there's a note behind the Walmart gift card that I then find there was a school. Somewhere in Texas that had like adopted St. Margaret's mm-hmm. And had bought gift cards for all the families and it was $25 and like $25.

Okay. In today's economy, can't buy a whole lot. But in 2020, like I could go get [00:15:00] Mill, I remember what I bought with it 'cause we went to the little Walmart around the corner. There's a, a neighborhood Walmart in that part of town. I walked in with the express intention of getting a rotisserie chicken and one of those like pre-made mac and cheese things because I was like, this is easy dinner tonight.

Because I had a meeting that afternoon with my producer and I was like, I don't wanna have to deal with dinner. And Tommy was also back to school and like they were doing the weird COVID schedule and it was $25. I will never forget this. I've got my rotisserie chicken, I've got my mac and cheese. It's like gonna be like 18 bucks between the two of them.

And so I'm gonna grab, I think, like a couple of fun drinks for me and Tommy, like maybe some flavored topo Chicos or like maybe the, the, um, there's like this cherry wine coke drink that you can only get in glass bottles at Walmart. Right. And Rose sees a TY Beanie Baby stand and just like, looks at me and I could, she wants one.

I have seven extra dollars on this gift card. And again, I wanted to make it [00:16:00] perfectly clear, our family was not starving. Like we were not struggling to make ends meet, but it was, it was an extra 25 bucks and I didn't have to think about it. Yeah. And so it was an instant Yes. And I got her that little TY beanie baby.

Now. I couldn't, I wish the conclusion of the story was, and it's the most beloved toy in the house. I couldn't tell you where it's like, I, I don't even remember, but I know it was stand, but it's what you needed in the moment. But in that moment, she just wanted this 5 99 toy, and I was more than happy to get it for her.

And it was a complete gift. Like I, that was a gift. Yeah. And it was a small gift. It was a small dollar gift, but it was incredibly meaningful. And so I think everybody's got some sort of an experience in that regard. You talked about so many people helping you guys when your second to youngest was in and out of the nicu.

Talk to me a little bit about. That, and I've met that kid. He's incredible. Uh, the biggest Chiefs fan I think I've ever spent time with. Yes. Um, the, you'll, you'll appreciate that. I almost texted you this the other day. We, I have a cousin named Taylor. We are driving through Birmingham, Alabama. On the way home, on this road trip, [00:17:00] rose goes.

Mom, what does Taylor's fiance do again? Ing Taylor's of Taylor, our cousin. And my Tommy goes without even missing a beat. He was like, oh, he's a football player for the Chiefs. And I went, Tommy, they're not engaged, but she's talking about Taylor Augusto, not Taylor Swift. That's so funny. So it was a very, and he wasn't joking like he, seriously, she was asking about Taylor's book.

I love it. She's a big chiefs fan and he's a thriving young man now. But in those initial days, what was that like for you guys? 

Kathryn Whitaker: I mean. Well, I didn't wanna accept help because I was top A and I was like, I can do it all. And then there's a moment, I think, in all of our lives, when we realized that life is too much and we have to throw out the life preserver.

And it was the most humbling, hardest thing I ever did was accept help. I thought it would be so easy to receive. It is really hard to receive help because you, why do you 

think, why do you think that is? 

Kathryn Whitaker: Because we want to be self-sustaining. We want to feel like we are not. You know, we, we don't wanna admit [00:18:00] that we are imperfect and overwhelmed.

We wanna feel like we have our life together and our shizzle in order, and then life throws a lot at you. And I think that feeling of overwhelm, like as I was watching, I was just the opposite of you. Like I read every story. I watched everything. And I didn't do like good boundaries, of course, for the flood, for the flood, for the flood, but, but as I was watching all of that, I was taken back to 2009, in 2010 and 11, and even 2024 when our son had two additional unexpected surgeries and we had to receive again.

And it's a process of being humble and it's really hard to accept that. And I just kept thinking, but I know what that feels like to feel like you are not alone and that you are seen. And I think right now everyone sees them. And I know in a few months that will go away. 

Absolutely. But 

Kathryn Whitaker: I also know that it's important to keep showing up for people if there's anything that I've learned through grief.

And certainly after my dad passed away, [00:19:00] he was a big show or upper for people. Mm-hmm. And every time Katie, God presents an opportunity for us to show up for someone, I think. My dad isn't gone. So it's sort of like a, a beautiful connection that while our experience with the floods is a little bit on the periphery, I know what it feels like to be seen and shown up for, and it's just the smallest way that we can do it.

But I know, I think it's Sharon McMahon who says, do for one what you wish you could do for all. And so that's what we tried to do. Mm-hmm. 

Yeah. How did your kids, in the midst of all of that respond or like. Talk about it. And I'm specifically thinking as you're, as you're kind of thinking about it, I, we had the news on one afternoon at my in-law's house, um, like in the kitchen.

It was in the background. This is local access, Scranton, PA News. So it was like a story about what was going on down there. Um, and Rose walked in and said, oh, is that where all the kids drowned? Like she'd heard it and I was just like, oh gosh. So it's like [00:20:00] Tommy took that one and walked away and explained, and then of course in her little head, well, I'm never going to summer camp.

Um, and so it's like it's a whole lot. Your kids are a little bit ahead of mine. How, how are those conversations? I know you mentioned your son's. Fiance's bridesmaid was Yes. A can't mystic counselor. Like what was going on? Just discussing all of this together. 

Kathryn Whitaker: Well, I think the younger ones, or the younger one, I should say.

She's going into fifth grade, I think. Yeah. They're, she's forever second grade. Yeah. I know. She's, I, she is getting older. I have to remember that. She'll always be the baby though. I think when I told her what happened, she was like, oh mom, that's so sad. And I said, it is. And she said, because summer camp is the best week of my life.

Hmm. It is. And it felt like the one last sacred place like that had not been touched by tragedy. Yeah. And so that was really hard. But I think some of my kids were, when, when our son was in the nicu, they were younger and so they, they were like, mom. I think a couple of them asked me, why is this [00:21:00] so important to you?

Mm. And it gave me pause to ask myself that question, why am I so invested in this? And it was a lot of reasons, many of which I, I shared a little bit earlier, my dad, the showing up, the wanting to do something, the tide of four H, which has been a huge part of our life. Kerr County is actually in our district, so we go to Kerrville all the time.

We know that community really well. And so it was just so many things and I think when the kids started to understand the why, they were like, that's pretty. That's pretty impressive, mom. And I'm like, can you believe that all these people, and I would say Katie, the vast majority, like 75, 80% of the people that donated, I have never met them.

They are not people mm-hmm. That are in my cell phone that I can text. And I was so honored. There was one person who said, is a dollar not teen, too little to donate? No. I just had to take a deep breath, you know? And then, and then we had some bigger gifts and everything in between, and it just, or, or someone said, I just [00:22:00] picked my kids up from camp, so this is, this is for you.

This money is for you. So it was really personal, I think, for a lot of people, and I loved having those conversations with my kids. This. This corporal work of Mercy because two weeks ago we had just been at a funeral and I said, it is important to show up for people in their grief. Mm-hmm. Because you can't just participate in the happiest moments of people's lives.

You have to show up in the hardest parts too, and uh, you have to sort of help. Carry the grief. And so I want my kids to know, because quite frankly, Katie, growing up, we did not have a healthy relationship with grief. And I want mm-hmm. To keep showing my children that it will make your life even more rich if you enter into the suffering than if you just watch it from the periphery and never get involved.

So I think you have to think about where you call, where is God calling you? I can't do this for every tragedy, but I think this one, and I think God nudges you when it's the right moment. And for us it was the right moment. 

We're not all Catholic charities with a robust [00:23:00] infrastructure that can like jump in, but when there is one close or was when there is, because it is, it's inevitable in, in, in a fallen world, tragedy happens, death happens.

I'm, I'm glad you brought up the grief thing because I had a last week, so we're recording this on Wednesday, a week ago. We got to hang out with some friends of ours in New Jersey. Um, friends that we've known, uh, digitally for a long time, and we went to their house. This is a thing Tommy and I do. We just like show up to thousands.

We do the same thing. 

Kathryn Whitaker: Yeah. Scott's like, have we vetted them? We did it with 

you guys. Yeah. And yeah. And so, and now we've listened to this guy's podcast for years and his wife and I are, we were pregnant a year apart from each other. Me with my first her, with her last. So like we, we have trauma bonded in some ways.

Um, so we hang out with them for hours. Like built a Lego set, like just it, we could have stayed all night. They asked us to, they were like, why don't you guys just like bunk up in the, in the basement and we'll wake up and have break? And we're like, no, we have to drive back to Pennsylvania. Okay. So on the drive back to Pennsylvania, it's like 11 o'clock at night [00:24:00] and I was super worried about deers darting out as we're like driving up the mountain.

So I'm like begging Tommy to go slow. And I said, I just, we can't die like our kid. We can't both die in a fiery car, crash up a mountain when we're 20 minutes from seeing them after we've been gone for a few days. Um, and that just got me spiraling, thinking about my funeral someday, which is a very morbid line of thinking.

But I made the comment to Tommy. I really hate the fact that all of our good friends are spread out all across the country. Yeah. Because they're never all gonna be in the same place at the same time until one of us probably dies. Yeah. To which Tommy then said, nah, they probably won't even show up to the funeral.

And I said, oh no. We have made friends with people who show up to funerals. Yeah. Like I don't let somebody close in my life unless I know they're traveling for the funeral. And I do think that's been a. I, I, let's talk, this is a weird thing, but like when people die. When I was a kid and people died and we got the paper and there was the obituary, we went like, I went to a ton of wakes as a kid for like my parents', friends', parents.[00:25:00] 

And now I feel like that's something that has maybe shifted in our culture or obviously like I'm not at the age yet where that's really happening a ton. But there is this weird relationship with grief that our world has, where it's like, if it's somebody you know from afar, oh, I can't make that trip. Or if it's somebody even close, there's almost like this writing it off like, oh no, I, I don't have the time.

Do you think that's a fear of confronting the reality of death or people are just too busy or I don't think what's going on there? I don't 

Kathryn Whitaker: think people wanna admit that you actually are gonna die. Everyone listening to this podcast is gonna die and we are gonna lose. So many people that we love it. It, it happens to everyone.

Well, that's 

part of, yeah, 

Kathryn Whitaker: it's 

part of life, 

Kathryn Whitaker: but I don't think we want to admit that it could happen to us. And I think when we continue to show up for people in their suffering, one, it reminds us of our own mortality, but also. It, it demystifies this, what we perceive to be very scary, but we know it's just a transformation [00:26:00] to a new place.

It's interesting that you mention that because the same weekend that we were at a wedding a few weeks ago, we also went to a funeral and it was the funeral of a beloved teacher and he was 24. Katie and I have never in my life seen a church that full. And his tribute wall on the funeral's website. So many kids, 16, 17, 18 year olds are talking about how this teacher changed their life.

And I just remember sitting in that church watching his family greet. They live in this teeny tiny town. And I remember looking around and thinking, I can't believe that one person impacted this many people. And he was only 24. Mm-hmm. And the importance of he was a big show up. Kind of person for our kids, my kids, other people's kids.

And I thought, man, this is, this is the good stuff. This is the good stuff of life when people can celebrate the wedding before. And they were all the same people. And then the bride in the groom that got married, their first marital act was to come to the funeral the next day. [00:27:00] And I just remember thinking what a witness that is to experience this deep joy, but also this deep grief.

And I think the more that we practice the virtue of showing up for people, the less scary death becomes. And I did not, I was the opposite. We did not go to funerals. We did not do any of that. And when we had tragedy, strike our Catholic school a few years ago, and we had four funerals in six weeks. I finally was confronted, like I had to show up.

I was like, I can't not show up for these people that I love. And that was the shift. Mm-hmm. And my kids, I don't say that we force them, but we certainly provide opportunities for them to realize this life is very temporary. So you have to do what God asks of you in the moment. And then when it is your time to transition from this life to the next, you will know that you have given all that God has asked of you, and every moment that he has tapped your shoulder, that you have not looked the other way when the Holy Spirit came, came calling.

So I think, I think it's just [00:28:00] been really beautiful for my kids to encounter that. And I'm a very different mom now than I was 15 years ago. 

Yeah. Yeah. Well, I, I think it's. It's not a morbid thing, but it does keep into perspective for a child that, like there's phases of, of life and like the natural progression is that we die old.

Sure. And, and so sometimes there is the one-off tragedy of a younger death and that's, that's a whole different thing to have to navigate with a kid. But we brought, um, rose to the funeral of one of our former colleagues. It was years ago. She was like four. Um, Claire was still in a car seat carrier. Like that's like I, I remember walking in with it.

Kathryn Whitaker: Wow. 

And this particular teacher, she collected teddy bears and she, like, her office had like nothing but teddy bears in it and she was the dance coach as well. Um, and so all the dancers had [00:29:00] brought one more teddy bear for Miss D, and they were all like in front of her casket. 

Kathryn Whitaker: Mm. 

And Rose, rose remembers it like, can I have teddy bears at my funeral?

And I jokingly have to say back, I hope I'm not involved with that. Like, I hope I'm long gone. Right. And don't have to arrange teddy bears for your funeral someday. And I'm, I'm not trying to be Gallo's humor in saying that, but it was, but like certain elements of it do stand out for a kid. And I even think with like, I can't go to the funerals of these young children.

Who have lost their lives in this tragedy. I know some of the ancillary stories of people, there were some children that that died in this from Beaumont. There were the two girls from St. Rita's in Dallas. Like the Catholic world is actually really quite small. And so a lot of people have these, these tentacles of connection.

But I can send money on the Venmo and I can say the rosary with the family where we specifically remember them. And that's not. A diminished participation, right? Like that's what I think it means to be part of the Pilgrim Church on Earth, is that from the various areas [00:30:00] where we find ourselves, we're able to step in and to teach our kids that early.

That makes them good humans. Yes. But I think it also just gives them a more well-rounded understanding of this, this life project that we're on. 

Kathryn Whitaker: Well, and also to be obedient to how God wants you to show up. Like you know, this time maybe you Venmo, maybe next time you reach out to the family and then the next time you show up at their front door, like I think we can expect to be fully present to every tragedy in the same way.

'cause I think it would make us inauthentic. I think you have to really ask the Holy Spirit, what is it? And how is it that you need me to show up today for this family or this tragedy? And sometimes that's through prayer, and I don't think any of those are, I don't think there's a hierarchy of, well, no, if you do this, you're doing it right.

And if you do this mm-hmm. You're doing it wrong. I think it's a process too, of becoming comfortable. Showing up in people's hardest days, and that is just a, a habit. In the church, we call that a virtue. It's just the habit of [00:31:00] practicing. How do you do that so that when the really hard things comes later on, that your habit, your default is to show up in whatever way God calls you.

And that just takes time. You can't, you can't expect to just be a super person. At the end of every tragedy because that's not what God calls us to do. So I think it was an important lesson for my kids to say, this is how God's asking your mom to show up. What are you gonna do? How are you gonna pray for these people?

What are you gonna, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna donate? Are you gonna write a letter? Are you gonna give money? Like, what are you gonna do? And so I think it's good for our kids to see us discern when the hard thing happens, wherever that may be. What do we do as a family? 

Yeah. I. Amen. Catherine Whitaker, you're doing great work.

Thank you. Um. Where can we follow you? Are you still taking donations? Are you still like directing people to give to four H? Because I know some people are gonna listen to this and be like, wait, what? Like, I missed it. Like, I wanna give, 

Kathryn Whitaker: I would encourage people to give to San Antonio [00:32:00] Catholic Charities in San Antonio.

They're doing amazing work. Um, uh, and San Antonio is, that's, uh, Kerrville is in, that's the direct, yes. Yeah, it's a direct gift. And, and of course they will be the people that are showing up long after there's also mm-hmm. Notre Dame Catholic Church in Kerrville. So if you wanna give to a specific place, that would be a good place.

They have an area on their website, you can donate to them that way. I'm no longer taking donations, one because I have to get these gift cards bought and get over there. But those are two places that I would recommend and certainly, you know, take if it's a decade of the rosary or the next time that your kid does something that you're attempted to look at your phone, look at your kid instead, like be present to the own people.

The own your own people in your own life. I think. All those tragedies remind us, like just hold onto the joy because when, when it comes, it gets you through the hard days. So I would encourage you to maybe allow this to shift your perspective. 

Absolutely. Yeah. The, I think the post that wrecked me the most was somebody saying, you know, [00:33:00] the next time I'm annoyed by my 8-year-old, or like frustrated with their attitude or.

If they're putting bunny ears on me and they're just being themselves like to remember, like there's little girls who went to camp and never came home, right? Those parents will never get those moments again. So it, yeah, I think own perspective. 

Kathryn Whitaker: It was, there was a story that I read and when I read it, it wrecked me.

There's two actually. So the McCombs family is fairly infamous in, in Texas there were Wimberley floods in 2015. It was a family. There were none of them. He's the sole survivor, his wife and his two children. Um, all, all passed away in the floods and only. His wife and one of his children was recovered. And so he's now on the recovery team, and every tragedy he goes to find survivors.

Mm-hmm. And it's incredibly touching because he took this life that could have just been wrecked. And instead he was like, I'm gonna find a way to move forward with joy. And I know that took a lot of work, but also these counselors that were just up the way from where the, the one cabin flooded, they could hear the girls, Katie.

[00:34:00] Mm-hmm. And the counselor said, but I knew that I was responsible for the girls right in front of me. Mm-hmm. And it was a lesson to me to say like, do we wish that we could have saved them all and all those families? 100%. Mm-hmm. But God has entrusted me in this moment with these kids, and so I'm gonna do this right now because it's the only thing that I can do.

God is God. Mm-hmm. And I'm not him. And as tragic and as hard as that was to read, I was like, man, if that isn't a lesson in staying present. And like your wits are together and you're like, but these girls right here, these 16 girls are my responsibility. Mm-hmm. And I have to think that God is a merciful God.

And those girls are absolutely, along with so many other hundreds of people that have passed away, um, you know that. That God brought them quickly to their heavenly reward. And I'm just grateful that this one small act might bring their families who are surviving a little bit of solace to know like, we love you, we see you.

And as one, I think I [00:35:00] posted this reel the other day, like this one guy was like, man, it just all came to hell in a hand basket. And he was like, but all these people showed up. And I was like, I love that Texans are showing the world how you show up. And we're not worried about who did you vote for? Where do you live?

What's your skin color? But instead like. How can I help? Mm-hmm. And this was one small way that we could help. 

Amen. Well, thank you for, for contributing to that and for sharing your heart with us, Catherine. It was an honor. Where can we follow you and where can we listen to you? 

Kathryn Whitaker: So Katherine Whitaker, TX on all the socials.

Um, Katherine Whitaker do net on the internet. And then I have the show over on SiriusXM on Thursdays from a one to two East. I have to keep reminding myself to say East instead of Central East. Yeah. Instead of central 12 to 

one central, I've shifted to a Thank you. A central. They're all central times then, as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah. So, uh, 

Kathryn Whitaker: those are the places. And then I have a podcast for NICU parents that I have over on, um, Spotify and Apple Podcasts and all the places is for hand to hold, so. 

We'll put some links down in the show notes folks. Thanks Katie. Katherine, thanks for taking the [00:36:00] time.

You know, Katherine and I held it together pretty well for the majority of the episode until the end there, and, and you heard her share, you know, and, and some of the stories that have come out about how folks at Camp Mystic, who were further higher ground could hear the screams of the children who weren't able to escape the rising floodwaters.

That's trauma and hardship that those young women and and girls will live with for the rest of their lives. And the loss of your child who goes to their favorite week of the year and never comes home, it's just unfathomable. It's unimaginable. It's unfathomable. It's not something that anyone wants to through much less really.

And after I hung up the call and. Got back to doing all the various work things I needed to do. About 10 minutes later, I had an [00:37:00] interview for EWTN about digital missionary work, so I had to switch my brain over to something else. I couldn't help but think that there are so many people who were confronted and touched by that hardship and that tragedy just a couple of weeks ago, who can't just flip their brain to the next thing, who can't just flip the switch and go back to all the stuff and all the things that they have to do.

Because they're going to confront this pain and feel this pain for the rest of their life. And so right now there is so much aid being given. Catherine raised $34,000 and those gift cards are being distributed. But she mentioned there at the end, you know, the good folks at Catholic Charities continue to do really essential and necessary work in helping people in the face of tragedy.

And Catholic Charities sticks around in a place. Long after an immediate tragedy is kind of over and done with [00:38:00] because they recognize it's never really over and done with The various diocesan offices of a Catholic. Charities are there before a storm, after a storm, before a flood, after a flood, before a tornado, after a tornado, and of course are there in the midst of all of it.

And so if you feel so compelled, we've put a link down in our show notes to Catholic Charities. To go and directly give. There's also been a really cool networking of Catholic charities across the country to do donation drives for specific items. So for example, in the diocese of Homo Thibodaux and Lafayette, which are just down the interstate for me, they did an item specific drive last week that allowed people to bring, Hey, if you live in this zip code, we need you to bring baby wipes.

If you live in this zip code, we need you to bring. Towels if you live in this zip code, that kind of thing. And so if you just check out the Catholic Charities website, again, the link is down in the show notes, you can continue to participate in these recovery efforts. [00:39:00] Now, like I said, normally our, our episodes are very evergreen, and so this one kind of sits as a one-off because I think it's a really important thing to discuss.

But I wanna make it perfectly clear that I think it's in our lives as moms, it's as mothers, that we really navigate these hardships together. And so I wanted to have the conversation because I think so many of us, maybe as we're scrolling social media or talking in our families, or even just trying to kind of confront that heaviness and that hardship on our own, that it's really, really essential that we not feel so alone as we do so.

So I, I hope this conversation has been. Some comfort to you. I hope this conversation has gonna help to you. Make sure you give our show a follow, a subscribe, a good review or rating, maybe a share if you feel so called. And we'll be back in just a couple of weeks with another really fantastic episode talking about digital mission life.

'cause I'm headed to. The Jubilee or influencers in digital missions in Rome in just a few days [00:40:00] to make sure you're following the show to not miss anything right here. Unlike a mother,

this has been a production of OSV Podcast. To learn more, visit osv podcasts.com.